Motherhood is the hardest hood most of us will ever be part of. As mothers we are expected to do so much and it can be completely draining. If you are struggling to stay in a good mood through the troughs of motherhood, you are not alone. 

Here are some things you can start doing today to maintain a positive mindset:

• Stop complaining
• Stop comparing
• Smile
• Concentrate on gratitude
• Replace negatives with positives 
• Make time for yourself
• Have grace for yourself and others

Stop Complaining:

It is so easy to find the annoying, unfair, ridiculous moments and call them out. Our brains naturally find the negative in most situations. We tend to notice all the things that are wrong instead of focusing on all the things that are right. 

Wallowing in negativity will only lead to the decline in your personal and work relationships. It will take a toll on your mental, emotional, and even physical health.Don’t be the person that sucks the energy out of the room with your complaints. Be the person that person that fills the room with positivity and good vibes by focusing on the good.

The next time you are itching to gripe about what is wrong, take a step back and focus on what is right. The negative; the kids made a huge mess today and now you will be the one stuck cleaning it up. Instead; the kids made a huge mess. This is a perfect opportunity to teach them the importance of cleaning up after themselves. Or; the kids made a huge mess, how lucky are we to have the means to provide them with all of this stuff.

Before you complain, stop to ask yourself why you are feeling like this, what can you do to change it, and how to communicate what you need in order to feel better. 

Stop Comparing:

It can be hard to feel happy and motivated if you are concentrated on what others have and what you don’t. 

I have often compared what I do for my family to what my husband does for our family. When I do, I find myself feeling unappreciated and overworked. I always feel like I do so much more and get so much less. It has been an issue in our relationship.

When I stopped comparing my role as mom to his role as dad, I found myself much happier even in the hard times. It took a lot of practice, but when I found myself in the comparison spiral, I would think about how lucky I am to have a family to take care of, how lucky I was to be able to provide love, nurishment, and a happy home to them. I would also think about the things that my husband did, and how happy I was to have a partner to do those things. It really changed things for me and for our relationship.

Wasting energy comparing your life to someone else’s only takes away precious energy you could be spending making the most of your situation. As moms we know that every child is different and they each move at their own pace on their own path. We need to give ourselves the same courtesy and know that we are not bad or unworthy because we are not in the same place as someone else.

Comparison isn’t always a bad thing. Looking up to someone or setting goals for yourself based on what they have accomplished can be healthy, but when you dwell on the things you don’t have instead of focusing on the great things you do, you can feel unhappy and unsuccessful.

If we can teach ourselves not to be so concerned with what everyone else is doing we can pass that down to our children, setting them up to appreciate what they have and to be bold enough to follow their own path.

Smile:

Mom-life is overwhelming at times. There is always something to do and we can get stuck in our heads planning for what’s to come. We’ve all heard of resting b**** face. Sometimes I’m stuck with resting mom face.

When you feel stressed and overwhelmed, take the time to smile. Smiling can reduce stress, releasing tension in your body and your face. Not only will smiling make you feel better it will make you look better. You and those around you will benefit by your smile.

Smiling is proven to improve your mood. Smiling releases endorphins and can lead to positive thinking. Smiling will not only benefit your mood but it can boost the mood of those around you. If mom is smiling the kids will take notice and will smile themselves.

Struggling to fake a smile is never fun, smile when you can and don’t force it. Smiling more is something that can take practice, but it is worth it. The benefits of smiling include; boosts your immune system, lowers blood pressure, makes you look younger, and can help you stay positive.

Concentrate on Gratitude: 

When you are feeling down, concentrating on gratitude can lift your mood. Take some time each day to concentrate on what you are grateful for. When you are centering yourself around all of the amazing things you get to experience you will truly cherish the life you are living.

Gratitude has been shown to contribute to an overall sense of wellbeing. It is beneficial to write down what you are thankful for. One way to practice gratitude is to write out 3-5 things you are thankful for each day. This practice will make you continuously aware of all of the awesomeness in your life. 

Focusing on what you are grateful for contributes to optimism. Who wouldn’t benefit from some good ole optimism? Intentionally showing appreciation for your life will allow you to flourish as a mother, wife, sister, and friend.

Inviting gratitude into your daily life allows you to relish in good experiences, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships. 

Replace Negatives with Positives:

Moms everywhere use redirection and distraction to avoid meltdowns and poor behavior in their children. Redirection is a tried and true technique used in early education to manage children’s behavior. Using redirection in our own lives can be a useful tool in combating negativity. 

When a situation arises that makes you upset, angy, or sad try what you can to find the silver lining. In every bad situation there is some sort of positive take-away. It can be difficult to see the positive when it seems as if every time you get up, you get knocked back down. However, simply finding one positive in a negative situation can help reduce the amount of anguish spent dealing with it.

If you can feel negative emotions mounting, take a step back and do something else. Everytime you feel negativity, replace it with positivity. Whether its thoughts or activities leading to distress, find a positive replacement. 

Make Time for Yourself:

It is near impossible to be joyful when you are exhausted. Why are we expected to be bright, cheerful mothers and wives when we have zero time for ourselves?

It is so important to carve out time for yourself. If that means demanding help from your spouse or saving up a little money for a babysitter, do whatever it takes for you to have some time to do what makes you happy. Prioritize yourself and your needs. Stay up late or wake up early. Use every resource that is available to you. Get creative and ignore others peoples opinions. 

Friend time can be just as rejuvenating as alone time. Schedule some time with a friend. Getting together with another mom, especially when you’re feeling defeated, can give you some encouragement to keep going. It can make you feel less alone, seen, and heard.The positivity of getting together with friends can last far after your meeting.

Self care is so important to feeling good. You don’t have to practice self care everyday for it to make an impact on your day-to-day mood. Concentrate on doing something that makes you joyful at least once a week. Your once-a-week self care will have a great influence on your positivity.

Have Grace for Yourself and Others:

Not being happy all of the time is no fault of yours. It’s called life, and we cannot always be happy.Give yourself permission to forgive yourself for your mistakes, lapses in judgement, and hurtful behaviour because we all mess up at some point.

Stop letting the little things bother you and be understanding of  the little gremlins that have you up to your wits end. Know that they won’t always be so little and you won’t always feel so tired. Concentrate on allowing space for mistakes and mishaps.

In the very hard times when those around you are really trying your patience, remember to have compassion. It may be very easy to get annoyed by others, but it’s never a good feeling. Hold on to the realization that everyone is going through something and may be going through hardship.

In Summary:

It takes time, practice, and patience to maintain a positive attitude. Even when we want to we don’t always feel the emotion that we wish. Start small and get intentional about what you do when negativity seeps into your day. Continue to implement the tips above and when you find something that works, stick to it!