Finding work-life balance is no easy feat but one thing is for certain, you must find balance. It will take time to figure out what balance means for you, but it is crucial to find equilibrium between work and play.
When you’re bouncing back between work coming first and family coming first, you most likely are neglecting both, and you most definitely are neglecting yourself.
When the majority of your focus is shifting between your job and your kids, you are leaving absolutely no time for yourself or for any fun. Don’t forget mama, your needs are very important too. So finding balance between all aspects of life is so very important.
There is more to it than finding balance between work and home. You should focus on finding balance between work, family, yourself, and fun.
Set Boundaries:
The ability to set boundaries is a skill that most successful people have. Being able to determine what gets your time and for how long will allow you to carve out time for all of the important aspects of your life.
Designate a certain amount of time for work. If you know you have a large project coming up at work that will take up extra hours of your time, make time in your schedule to accomplish what is needed without skimping elsewhere. Wake up early, eat lunch while you work, and when your allotted time is up, shut it down.
Take Care of Yourself:
Self-care is not an elaborate spa day. It’s the small things that we do on a daily basis that allows us to care for ourselves. Drinking a cup of tea without interruption, listening to your favorite music, painting your nails, putting on a face mask, taking a bubble bath. Taking care of yourself is not extravagant, it’s about getting what you need in order to function and thrive.
To take care of yourself you must take care of your physicality. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and getting some sort of exercise. Sleep is so important. Many of us are left with the notion that staying up late to finish what we didn’t get to during the day is normal and acceptable. However, not getting enough sleep is detrimental to your overall health and will dampen your ability to find work-life balance. It’s okay to pull an all-nighter some times, but continuing on a cycle of not getting quality sleep will affect you for the long haul, don’t make it a habit.
Remember to put the right foods into your body. We’ve all heard, ‘you are what you eat’. If you are constantly putting unhealthy foods into your body, you will be sluggish, lazy, and unmotivated. Now, this is not to say become a vegan or vegetarian, but it is important to find a healthy balance and indulge in moderation.
Hydration is so important. Drink lots of water. Dehydration is dangerous. You can’t think straight or make good decisions when your body is dehydrated. You can get headaches and become more tired if you are dehydrated.
This is the one I struggle with the most but it’s getting exercise. Whether it’s hiking, giong to the gym, or walking around the neighborhood, getting a little exercise can be hugely beneficial.
If you want to be successful in anything you must take care of the vessel that is going to get you there. If you are not taking care of your vessel you may experience things like depression, fatigue, anxiety, and restlessness. If your body suffers, you’re going to suffer, your family is going to suffer, your job is going to suffer and all your hard work will have diminished returns.
Get Rid of Perfectionism:
Accepting that things can be good instead of perfect is a realization that will change your life.
You will have a healthier mindset and more time if you are able to let go of perfectionism. Your need for perfection will disable you to seek help and discourage you to delegate tasks to others, and at some point you are going to need help.
You can’t do everything yourself and be successful in work-life balance.
You will survive with things being good, you do not need everything to be perfect. Try to not be so hard on yourself and the things you do. The sooner you realize that you cannot change everything and make it perfect, the sooner you will free yourself from the constricting bind of perfectionism.
Learn to Say No:
“I can’t afford to do that right now.”
“It’s not going to fit in my schedule.”
“No.”
“That’s not going to work for me.”
“Maybe another time.”
Learning to say no is so important. We can feel like we always have to say yes to everything. People pleasing can be something so ingrained in ourselves that saying no is like pulling teeth. It can feel like we are letting others down or that they may become mad or upset with us, but saying no is okay.
You have to turn some things down. You just can’t do everything. Your time is very valuable and as a mom your time is not just yours. It’s time you get to spend with your kids raising a family. Giving your children and spouse time and attention is the utmost important thing.
Your raising human beings into this world, giving them as much time and attention as possible is critical. Learning to say no is not only beneficial to you and your mental health, but it’s a good thing for your family because the more things you say no to, the more time you will have to spend with them.
This doesn’t mean, say no to everything and throw your career away. Take the time to analyze the opportunities that are presented to you and decide if they are worthy of your time.
Get Help:
Girl, get you some help.
If family or friends offer to watch your kids, take them up on it. When someone offers they’re help, say yes! It can be hard to accept help. We can feel like we need to be the ones to do it all, but don’t get sucked into that hole.
Allowing people to help you will only allow you to grow. And if no one is offering help, reach out and ask for it. You have to ask for help or you may have to hire someone to help you. Either way we need to start destigmatizing women who get help and start normalizing the need for help.
I recently read some messages an instagram mom posted after she had shared that she pays someone to come to her home and do the laundry. Some of her followers shamed her for getting help. However, her followers from other countries shared that hiring help to do household chores was a normality in their country and found it odd that most american women do not have outside help managing their homes.
There is an outlandish negative connotation with women having hired help to support them in managing their household/children in America. The idea that we are supposed to do it all and if we need help we are failing, has got to go.
Let’s all do our part in getting rid of that way of thinking and supporting each other when we need help. If you need help, it’s okay. We all need help with something at some point, and most of us would be doing much better mentally, physically, and emotionally if we got the help we need.
Maximize Your Time:
Maximize the time that you have appointed to each of your needs; work, family, yourself, and fun.
Schedule out your time making sure to leave time for everyone including yourself. If something is important to you, you will find time for that. Organizing, utilizing, and maximising your time is crucial to finding balance.
Nothing is foolproof. Honor your schedule; turn off the phone when it’s family time, don’t answer emails when you’re off work, go to bed at a decent time, spend some time on things you enjoy. If you honor this balance 65% of the time, you will come to recognize the profund positivity it is having on your life. You will be able to give yourself grace when you feel like one thing is becoming more present than others, and you will desire the balance for the other 35% of the time.
When it comes to work take your lunch break, your evenings, your weekends, your holidays, and your paid leave. You agreed to a job in exchange for a salary and benefits. You did not sign up to give up every moment of your personal time
You don’t want your kids or spouse to feel neglected. If you are left with nothing else, family is the most important thing. In this crazy, social media dominated world, we can get lost from this ideal. It is so important to do what is best for yourself and your family. Forget the money and forget the clout, make sure you are dedicated to your loved ones.
In Summary:
Finding balance between all of the aspects of your life is not an easy feat. It can be overwhelming to simply think about all of the stuff on your plate. Between work, family, and normal everyday things the mental load is enough to exhaust you.
By setting boundaries, taking care of yourself, releasing perfectionism, saying no, asking for help, and maximizing your time, you are well on your way to creating balance in your life.
You show up for your kids, for your spouse, for your job and that in and of itself proves that you have what it takes to find the balance in your life that you deserve.
It’s a struggle to find balance but it is such a sweet, sweet thing once you get it (or get close to it).
