If your maternity leave is ending and you are preparing to go back to work, you may be looking for a guide to avoid chaos those first few weeks back at the office.
Here are 8 things to do when your maternity leave is ending:
- Allow yourself to feel everything you are feeling
- Find quality child care
- Start practicing new routines
- Remember, you are a new you
- Make sure your needs are met
- Discuss expectations with your employer
- Share responsibilities with your spouse
- Leave work at work
When I was going back to work after my first baby I prayed for everything to go smoothly. How could I possibly navigate this new life of mine? I was extremely nervous.
I went back to work relatively early after both babies. My first, I returned to work when he was just shy of 6 weeks old, and my second I returned to the office when she was 10 weeks.
Being prepared for your new normal will ease stress during the transition back to the office.
Here are a few things that help ease the transition from employee to mom-ployee.
1. Allow Yourself to Feel All The Feelings
There is no doubt that there are emotions that come along with going back to work after having your newest addition. You may be excited for a change in scenery or you may be nervous to leave your child’s side.
Let’s get real, there have been many times that I have felt like a horrible mother because I was so excited to go back to work. I love my kids and I shouldn’t be made to feel shameful for enjoying my time without them.
I love working. I don’t do anything amazing. I am not a doctor or a lawyer. I ‘m not going to save the world at my 9 to 5 and I am not going to be nominated for any awards. I have a super ordinary day job.
A job that helps me maintain my sanity and to contribute to my family financially.
But not all moms are lucky enough to enjoy their job. Some working moms would rather stay home but because of other factors cannot.
It’s hard not to beat yourself up, wondering if you are making the right decision. Mom-guilt can overwhelm you. Not just guilt about leaving your baby to go to work, but in all aspects of motherhood. It’s a wonder how we do much of anything, let alone everything.
Your feelings are valid, although at times, may be enhanced by postpartum hormones.
Whatever you are feeling, know this, you are a good mom and you are making the best choice for you and your family.
It’s important to surround yourself with people who support you and your decisions. I’m not saying to ignore your mother who would prefer you to stay home. What I am saying is to find that one (or more if you’re lucky) person that rallies for you and keep them close. Having someone in your corner when you’re making tough choices can boost your confidence, and that is priceless.
2. Find Quality Child Care
Finding quality child care can make the world of difference when returning to work. If you are not confident in where you are leaving your child during your work day it can lead to a disastrous experience for both you and your baby.
In some places you need to plan far in advance for quality child care. So if you haven’t already found the perfect care facility for you, start looking now. There are a few options when it comes to childcare.
Some of us are lucky enough to have friends or family watch after our bundle of joy, but there are other great options. You could find a great center based facility, you could hire a nanny, or you could find a reputable home based child care center.
I toured over 10 options before deciding on a child care provider. It’s 100% worth your time. Don’t rush the process and go with your gut.
If you work a demanding job that doesn’t offer much flexibility for sick days and emergency call-outs it may be beneficial to get a backup child care provider.
3. Practice New Routines
Routines are everything. I have routines for most everything I do. Days are short and moms by nature have way too much to do. Creating routines that work for you will ease your mind while dealing with all of the daily to-do’s.
Both times I returned to work after having a baby, I had to create totally new routines. For instance, in the morning I needed; a new wake up time, a longer preparation time, time to pump, and everything else that comes along with motherhood.
Getting a head start and trying out new routines beforehand will ease the transition from maternity leave to working mom life.
Don’t limit your new routines to home life. Setting new routines at work that can help you produce with less effort will be hugely beneficial as you begin your new life as a working mom.
There will be times where your baby keeps you up all night and you will be expected to show up and produce at work. It’s important during tough times like these that your day is simplified. When you become a mombie (a mom zombie), having successful routines will allow you to switch on auto-pilot.
Creating routines at home and at work will help you conquer work life balance.
4. Embrace Your New Life
That moment when they placed your baby in your arms you changed. There is no way to explain this change or to fully prepare for it. The wave of motherhood hits hard and hits fast.
Embrace the change of motherhood. Be proud and confident that you have changed.
Going back to work after having a baby can take a hit on your confidence. You have a new body and a new mind and you may feel uncomfortable in your old work clothes, you may notice the bags under your eyes, and you may feel left out experiences that your coworkers are having.
Try to remember that your life is brand new. Some things will go unchanged and others will be completely different to you.
5. Make Sure Your Needs Are A Priority
There are many new aspects of your life. It is important to get the things that you need in order to have a smooth day.
Make sure that your personal needs are met. If you’re feeling uncomfortable in your clothes, you may need a new wardrobe. If you’re feeling dull, you may need to get your hair done.
One thing that saved my mornings was my ‘go bag’. I used a large satchel style bag to load everything up in. It allowed me to make sure everything I needed was in the bag long before I had to run out of the door.
If you are a breastfeeding mom and you are planning on <pumping at work> you will need to make sure you have everything you need to make that happen. You will need to make sure you have the right pump, proper storage for your milk, and a time and place to pump.
Remember, the happier you are the happier your baby is. Your vibes flow through to others around you. Make sure to take care of you.
6. Discuss Expectations with Employer
Look, there is no denying that you will end up missing work to look after your little one. There is no avoiding it. Life happens. It’s important to discuss with your employer how to handle calling-out of work when this happens.
If you have an employer who does not understand that there must be balance between being an employee and being a mother, RUN.
Being a mother is now part of who you are. There will never be a time when you can be replaced in your child’s life, so when they need you, THEY NEED YOU.
Things that can be helpful to discuss early on is; the possibility of working from home when a child is ill, how to notify of emergency situations when they arise, who will cover for you when you need to be out, etc.
7. Share Responsibilities With Your Spouse
Just because you are the mom doesn’t mean that you have to do it all. We are living in modern times. Traditional roles are a thing of the past. Spouses support each other in all aspects of life and it’s amazing.
Discuss what responsibilities your spouse will do to help share the load. If you do morning drop off can they do evening pick-up? If your child gets sick can you alternate taking time off work until they are healthy enough to return to daycare? Who can more easily leave work on a drop of a dime in emergencies?
By discussing these things before going back to work you are taking the opportunity to create plans. This will allow you to ease the stress that comes along with the unexpectedness of parenthood.
8. Leave Work At Work
Depending on what you do for work, you could be intentionally or unintentionally bringing work home with you.
You may feel extra pressure to perform especially after being away from work for so long, it is understandable.
Remember that your children will not always be little and that they won’t always need you. Be present when you are with them and leave work at work.
Being happy and unoccupied when you are home will far makeup for the time you are in the office.
Conclusion
It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or sad to return to work after maternity leave. You may have many emotions towards your maternity leave ending. Do not feel shameful if you are happy to return to work.
Having quality child care that you can depend on can ease your transition back to the office. It may be a good idea to find back up child care for unexpected closures or sick days.
Getting a head start trying out new routines before you’re needed at work is well worth it. Also, think about simplifying routines at work for those mombie days.
Take your new mom-life with stride. You are a goddess who just birthed a whole human and you rock your career. Feel proud and know you are unstoppable.
Make sure you feel good. Whether that means buying five times the pumping supplies you need, getting a few new outfits, or getting your nails done before returning to work, make sure your needs are taken care of.
Discussing the expectations of what to expect moving forward with both your employer and your spouse will enable you to make plans for what is to come. Communication is key in any relationship.
And remember, leave work at work. There is nothing better than wrapping your arms around your child at the end of a long day. Stay present when you are at home, the work will be waiting for you tomorrow.
